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by James Sunderland (fallen_james)
at September 23rd, 2006 (09:29 pm)

Who: James and... ? [open]
What: The only Silent Hill survivor left in Desai mourns.
Where: Graveyard.
When: Middle of the night.
Warnings: James!angst.

James walked amoung the headstones of the cemetery, idly, listlessly tracing a path around the grounds with no real destination in mind. It didn't seem to matter, if he was there or not... since he no longer had the purpose he'd carved out for himself. He thought he had it figured out. He was going to take care of Maria and Angela, and instead, he'd damned them, doomed them, and dragged them down to the lowest depths, trapped them in that place, that Otherworld.

What was he to do now?

There was no starting over. No new beginning. This would haunt him for a good deal longer, the days and nights stretching out into endlessness.

He no longer had a reason to exist. He belonged here, amoung the dead. He reached out and placed his hand upon the cold marble shoulder of a carved saint. It was only a matter of time before he joined them, these ranks. Perhaps he was better served coming to them sooner rather than later.

It wasn't a new notion.

Comments

Posted by: James Sunderland (fallen_james)
Posted at: September 24th, 2006 08:21 am (UTC)

"Is there somewhere else I should be?" He replied, not looking toward her, but up into the impassive face of the statue beside him. "Where am I meant to go now? What am I meant to do, except wait for it to come for me again?"

Posted by: --- (rosenrotxx)
Posted at: September 24th, 2006 09:12 pm (UTC)

Lady found herself caught between aggravation and pity, trying to subdue her temper before replying, "Shouldn't you be home resting?" If he wasn't going to look at her, Lady was going to force eye contact, moving towards his side, leaning in to get a glimpse of his expression, "You can't be doing this to yourself, waiting for Hell to come back to you. Angela and Maria wouldn't want you to."

Of course, always Angela and Maria, if was the best thing Lady could think of to get James snapping out of his morose attitude.

Posted by: James Sunderland (fallen_james)
Posted at: September 26th, 2006 12:19 pm (UTC)

"Angela... and Maria..." James echoed, and then finally turned to regard her. He was a wreck. It showed in every line on his face from his twenty-odd years, his posture, even the rumpled clothing he wore and probably had slept in, during those few hours he could find that fitful rest.

"Every time I close my eyes... I see them. I can't... do anything... I don't know if I ever will be able to..."

"Lady--" He reached out, but his fingertips didn't contact with her cheek, falling far short as if thinking better of the touch. "I can't stay... there's nothing for me here. You'll... understand, right?"

Posted by: --- (rosenrotxx)
Posted at: September 26th, 2006 07:31 pm (UTC)

As always, any sort of contact outside of personal comfort made Lady tense up on the spot, but it never happened, much to her inner relief. Poor thing. He just looked terrible, as if he hadn't gotten any rest at all, which was obvious. His appearance was enough to settle her agitation, envoking her pity.

The girl was out of line and pretty much out of her league to try to attempt the level of understanding to see where James was coming from. She could only think of her mother... "Then...there's somethings you should just accept? You have to think about the future," Speaking straight from experience, and with hypocricy, none the less, "I don't think you should just quit! You need to keep going for them!"

Posted by: James Sunderland (fallen_james)
Posted at: September 26th, 2006 11:21 pm (UTC)

"But you are not me. You don't have to live with what I've done... all the things I've done and should burn for..." James began to walk away from her. It was easy to deny her words if he didn't actually have to look into her eyes.

"That other... me." He began, pausing for a moment. "Those feelings are still inside of me... Did you know? Those... impulses... are still..." He shook his head, but it did nothing to dislodge the guilt, the grief, and the anger.

"I can't see a future. My path ends here."

Posted by: --- (rosenrotxx)
Posted at: September 27th, 2006 02:18 am (UTC)

It didn't seem Lady was going to give up anytime soon, moving away, up until the girl stood right in front of him. She forced her blue and red eyes on his face, even in the dark, "You can't quit. Who said that you couldn't rectify your sins now?" Oh, she just wasn't good at this at all. She wasn't him, but Lady was still going to try talking sense into him.

"We all lose the ones we love, however, that doesn't mean we quit or give up on life if they're not here," Yes, that's what mother would have wanted. "That other form of yourself is gone. You need to keep going, James. You can't be possibly thinking this-" It was on the tip of her tongue, like it was poison to utter it, "-Because of...Mary."

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